The First Year...hippie for Jesus

oh my

2009-11-11T00:53:00.000-08:00

HELLO FRIENDS. Wow, what a day. OKAY, let's catch you up a bit. You know how in my last post, I wrote about the only thing we have control of is how we treat each other and respond to each other. WEll...yesterday was a day of testing for me on this very topic. As most of you know the seminary that I attend, Pacific School of Religion is a Progressive Christian Seminary. Some of you might say that it is LIBERAL. Whatever term people might want to throw at this place, it is a wonderful place to explore God and to search out answers so that we can all be able to minister to God's children...There...I said it and I am glad.

That being said...The "political correctness" of this place is a constant learning curve. For those who know me well...you know that I do not filter out a lot that is in my head and heart sometimes. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not a cad, but if it needs saying...I will probably say it. Well...I learned yesterday that it is not a good thing to use the work "bitchy" when describing a female scholars writing style as it offends lesbians. that probably is not the whole truth...it can offend all women, but yesterday, it was a lesbian who basically seized the opportunity to shall we say....snip snip say of the balls ay way.

I tried so hard to respond like I wrote about yesterday. For the most part I did...but all I really got was a little broken heart and a wake up call. I was wrong for using the word. But it was the way I was feeling about the article and its style. I left the situation mad and ended up crying myself into a well deserved nap. Today was better as I believe that after a crucifixion, there is always a resurrection.

PHASE TWO

I got an email late yesterday that the Music Director of PSR was ill and that she needed me to take over the chorale rehearsal last night and play for chapel this morning. AGAIN...those of you who know me, know that I would rather give birth to broken dishes than play the piano in church. I can do it OKAY...but I am just not comfortable doing it. Chapel was awesome and I got so many compliments from professor types...so the day was looking up.

PHASE THREE

One of my favorite classes is Jesus in the Movies. We have surveyed 16 films this semester on all topics in Jesus' ministry. Well last week was Crucifixion week. Imagine, watching one crucifixion scene after another. Draining to say the least. We post out ideas on an online forum each week to share with our classmates our reactions or lack there of. My reaction to the Mel Gibson, crucifixion in THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, was one of knowing the movies problems with the Jewish people and the probelm of gore and violence, I made the case, that even if those are both true, I had known people whose lives had been completely transformed by that movie. Well...I mentioned the "Jewish Race." OOOOOPPPPS. Not the right wording when there is a Jewish woman in the class. I received an "YOU ARE IMMORAL" email and reply post. WHAT...What did I say? Got that situation cleared up. but once again, my reaction to people was called into question and I had to fix it. Or rather God had to fix it. HE/SHE did and all is well....So...I am exhausted. What was God trying to let me in on? Well...I know now that saying something inspiring is nothing unless you are living up to it in your daily life. The fact is...we are all involved in a learning curve of life. I can take my mis-speaks this week...and know that knowledge is power....search out the RIGHT words to use. The right heart to portray, and the right intentions behind my every word. Will I screw up...oh yeah! But hopefully, I will get better adept at seeing a potential situation. Until then...do not use the word "bitchy" or the phrase "Jewish Race" in any context. Gotta Sleep

Happy New Year to me!

2009-11-07T11:24:00.000-08:00

Another birthday come and gone. I have been forced the past couple of days "celebrating" the fact that I have finished my 48th year and into the 49th to look at my life head on. Where did the time go and what the hell am I doing now? God has blessed me more than I can put on these pages. God has allowed me to flourish in every endeavor I have taken on with Him on my side. (yes....I did say HIM). Today I put behind me the pronouns of progressive Christianity, of which I am a huge follower, to testify to the FATHER that has directed my paths for almost a half of a century.

The biggest lesson I have learned this far is that is possible to "defy gravity" at 48. I am finding more and more that as I leap...God provides a net, not only to catch me, but also a net to buoyantly toss me round like a chicken leg being tossed in a bag of shake-n-bake. The richness of the "batter" seeps into the very pores of my being and enhances the "flavor" that I have to offer God's world. (shaken-n-bake chicken sounds so good right now.)

In this place called Holy Hill, I am discovering that my age and life experience are actually a help to me in discovering and accepting the mysteries of the Bible. Just last night, I went to party in one of the "kids" rooms. I look at them at 22-26 or so and thank God that he brought me through those years unscathed and quite honestly still alive. Thank you God for watching after this slightly off center man.

So I see this "new year" as a time to reset and enhance the goals that I feel in my heart will take into this year. Part of those goals is that I will write more regularly in this blog. Yeah, it is fun to keep up with all of you...but this is becoming a way that I can commune with God. I find that as I have a spiritual intent in everything I do that I have more real chances to listen to God, ponder his leadings and gain the Holy Spirit's power to act. I am becoming more and more convinced that the Sermon on the Mount is not only a wonderful collection of Jesus' sayings...it is indeed the way he wants us to respond to each other...and that, my friends, is the only thing that I actually have control of in this life, HOW I RESPOND TO OTHERS. I pray this year is one where I can have a more immediate response to all those in need, whether it is in their spiritual, physical, or mental life. In stepping out, I will be able to spread that flavor of Jesus that they might not experience any where else. What a gift...What a responsibility!

I am back.....again

2009-11-03T21:48:00.000-08:00

Hello friends. I am so sorry for my neglect in postings as of late. Midterms are over, and we are now gearing up for the hard 7 weeks until the end of the semester. I am finding that if I miss this time with myself and with God that I am more scattered than usual. Those who know me, that can be a pretty daunting statement.

This past weekend we celebrated the lives of those who have transitioned into eternal life. Whether you call it, All Souls, All Saints, Day of the Dead, or maybe even Halloween (Hallowed Eve)... it is a time when we look at our loved ones and some, maybe that we don't love at all, and remember that they EXISTED. I hope that it was not a day of sadness for you, as we are promised resurrection in Jesus. I fondly remember the words to a couple of songs during these days:

"if you could see me now, I am walking streets of gold. if you could see me now, I am standing tall and whole. If you could see me now, you'd know I've seen His face. if you could see me now, you know the pain's erased. You wouldn't want me to ever leave this place."

"I can only imagine, what it will be like, when I walk by your side. Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel. Will I dance for you Jesus, or in awe of you be still. Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall. Will I sing Alleluia, or will I be able to speak at all....I can only imagine."

We had a very memorable sermon today in PSR chapel. The text was the "Dry Bones" of Ezekiel. The preacher, a very gifted third year student, related the fact that as we remember those gone...we really need to RE-member them. The bones in Ezekiel's vision were DIS-membered and became fully whole by the Divine hand of God. All the bones...the good people and the not so good....It did not matter to God...He breathed life into them. So, today, I ask you..are there those who are gone, that you would just as soon see them remain...DIS-membered. RE-member that they are God's children to and to some extent they made you who you are today...good or bad. And as always...RE-member the one who, although did not have his bones broken at all, was oppressed, tortured, and used as a scape goat for you. Jesus was RE-membered by the power of his glorious Father. Let us all be agents of "RE-membering" this day and always. May God's peace be with you all.

REALITY SEEPS IN

2009-10-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

So...it is the 7th week of class already. It is amazing how fast this is going. BUT...this week the reality of school has definitely seeped in. It is as if all the professors got together had a meeting and decided that we were all not working nearly hard enough for the 15 grand we are spending. Everything is piling on. Okay Greg...DEEP BREATHS. Good news is that I convened Chapel for the seminary on Tuesday and it was a huge success. Those of you who know me will know what I mean when I say...GOD SHOWED UP! I am thankful for the gifts that God has given me in crafting and leading worship...may I never be complacent with the time we set aside for worship of the Divine.

So...this week, as the deconstructing continues we learned that David, probably did not kill Goliath. I know you literalist out there might have just thrown up a bit in your mouth...But alas...Scholars question the position of the legend in the canon as possibly being added to the story to elevate the David Dynasty. Plus...There are two other places in the Hebrew Bible where there was a Goliath that was slain by one of David's mighty warriors. Amazing how even now, many rewrite history to make their personal situation bearable. Whatever...So sunday school is screwing us all up....

But really...is it important in the grand scheme of the wonders of God and Christ. Like I said last week....TRUTH BEYOND THE FACTS....Ain't seminary fun.... Blessings to you all and for those at CLC I will see you Sunday as we celebrate the Holy Spirit's work in our lives and the lives of our dear church.

Another Sunday come and Gone

2009-10-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

I hope this reading finds you and yours fulfilled from a day of worship and rest. The world is a crazy place and we all need a little Jesus to empower us through another week. This morning, I attended the First Congregationalist Church of Berkeley. It was a beautiful place that reminded me of some of the large Baptists churches in the south...very clean lines, beautiful stained glass windows. After I arrived, from the LOOKS of the place, I anticipated a glorious worship. Perhaps it was my own mood or desire to truly connect, but I can honestly say, I did not. I have no doubt that there were those in the sanctuary who did connect with God and I am thankful for that. But isn't it interesting how God can let you know where you belong and where you do not. Although this was a completely inclusive and affirming congregation, I did not hear the name JESUS on time. It is almost as if they were trying NOT to say his name. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that these folks are doing the WORK of Jesus...alot of social ministry to the poor and disenfranchised. Just what Jesus calls us to do. But me personally, I need to hear HIS NAME. So...the church hopping continues. Next week, I am going Lutheran back in Vegas...gotta get my Jesus fix. But the week after that, I think I am gonna search out a congregation that is not afraid to offend those who do not wish to be Jesus Freaks. AH...the discernment process continues. It is a big week...lots of papers, tests, evaluations about to happen. I still believe with all my heart that I am to be in this very special place. I just need to surround my self with people who also need JESUS to make the academics of this place make sense. I hope you heard the name JESUS this weekend. There is power in that name...There is peace in that name...There is Hope in that name. Here's to Jesus!!!!!

observing your sabbath

2009-10-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

I am becoming more and more convinced that God fully intends us to keep a sabbath. I am not so sure that God is just talking about Sunday and keeping that Holy for worship. We should be worshiping in all that we do, Sunday is the celebration. I am talking about our own personal sabbaths. Those days when we simply do not commit ourselves to anything. In Seminary it is hard to do that. There is always something to read (as you never do get caught up) always something to write, always something assimilate. I have not been faithful in keeping a sabbath since I have been at PSR. Yes...I have gone to church worship services every Sunday, but that has always been followed by getting to the library or cramming for a class, or reading or writing. So what is that day going to be for me...I must find it!!!!

It would be nice if I could continue my Sunday from worship to something else that feeds my soul, but I don't think that is going to happen. I must find another day!!!! It looks like Saturday is gonna be the day. Even on my frequent trips back to Vegas and Community Lutheran, I am going to strive to maintain that Sabbath. This will take discipline, but as I practice those things that center me with God, I know that I can make this happen. God is so great. The by product of keeping my sabbath will be that I am taking care of myself physically and well as spiritually. I hope you have a sabbath of your own to keep. Oh that it could be Sunday..to continue to commune with God. If not Sunday, I pray that each of you find a time to just BE. Let God speak to you in the nothingness. Let us all be surprised at what God does!

HE/SHE/IT/GOD/GODDESS/DIVINE/HOLY ONE

2009-10-08T13:46:00.000-07:00

HEY FOLKS....so, I received, from more than a few of you, replys that either question my use of pronouns, or simply say GOD IS NOT FEMALE.

Please understand, all of you, that the pronouns I choose to use are based on scholarly disciplines. In Progressive Christianity, pronouns for God have been neutered almost completely. We use he/she etc in an effort to make the MESSAGE of the scripture applicable to all. I myself refer to God as my father. However, there are many women and men out there whose childhood picture of father is not so positive. To refer only to MALE gender in talking about God is to leave out a good deal of society that need to hear the message of God. Be assured I will never refer to Jesus as anything but a man. I encourage you to open your hearts a bit to inclusive language. God has many attributes that are both masculine and feminine. You do not have to be a full fledged feminist to see that God basically has NO SEXUAL IDENTITY, beyond the fact that the scriptures were written, we assume through study, by MEN and NOT WOMEN. It really is kind of interesting to look at different passages of scripture through different lenses. (feminist, queer, economic, anthropological etc.) Different gender references are simply an attempt to fully understand who God is. In the meantime...don't forget that God is pleased with all of our questioning. I believe that God smiles every time I write and often giggles every time you read these posts. So in HIS/HER/DIVINE/HOLY ONE name we live out the truth beyond the facts.

Blessings...Greg

I'm So DIZZY....My head is spinnin...like a whirlpool it never ends!

2009-10-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

Oh the pangs of vertigo. Many of you know that I often suffer from vertigo. Tomorrow, it will be one week that my head just won't settle down. Learning to live with a "different ability" (not sure what I gain from this ability) is a chore, but one that actually has begun to strengthen my prayer life. Enough of that...just pray for this boy in the Berkeley Hills.

Thanks for the responses on "The Rule of Life." My first draft is done and now it is on to tighten and edit my thoughts. By the way, I got my first seminary paper back this week and I got an "A." Finally some feedback on this journey.

My New Testament Professor, Dr. Benny Liew, gave a wonderful lecture yesterday that struck a chord with me. A nice A Major Chord to be exact. (that is my favorite musical key). He was talking about TRUTH. I have always been sure of the "story" of Jesus. I find it life giving...that the movement leader I follow (more importantly my Savior, just trying to write inclusively) was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life and sacrificed his own life for mine. Those "facts" that are part of the story have and will continue to be debated. But Dr. Benny said something that rings in my dizzy head! "TRUTH OFTEN LIES BEYOND THE FACTS." You see, God did not call me to defend the facts at every turn. He calls me to live out of the "truth." Studying the facts for greater clarity is a maze of "really?!?" But as long as I hold on to the "truth" as I know makes it all the more clear what my truth is. I hope that makes sense....Let me say it this way...You know how every Christmas there are law suits and battle cries about nativity scenes on public property....?...saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas? The thing is I, and many of those around all of us, KNOW BEYOND FACTS the "truth" of what Christmas is. So I encourage you to live out of that truth and just kind of smile when you see people trying to change your truth. Isn't God strong enough to take on these battles...I mean He is going to win, (heck he already has won) in the end. Let God take on his battles...We just need to live out of the "TRUTH THAT IS BEYOND THE FACTS."

So I am off for another day in the stacks of knowledge. Know matter what FACTs I received today, I can rest in the heart knowledge that God has it all in control. I can take in the "facts" and rest in the "TRUTH BEYOND THE FACTS. I hope you can too.

Rule of life..or Rhythm of life

2009-10-03T10:52:00.001-07:00

In my spiritual disciplines for leadership class we are in the process of deveolping our "Rule of Life." The "Rule" was developed over time by the Benedictine order of Monks. Now before you go running off thinking that the monastics are little robed, nutty, hermits...breathe. Ineed the "Rule" is something that is actually very beneficial for all of us on every side of Christian theology and practice. To form your "rule" all you need to do is write down all of the things that you do on a regular basis...your daily routine if you will. Notice carefully the things that you do out of obligation and the things you do out of choice. My list includes things like...STUDY (goes with out saying), blogging, prayer, going to the grocery, walking the hills of Berkeley, a good morning cup of coffee etc...you get the idea. Now as you look at all of the activities you take part in, even the smallest ones in your mind, look at your intention behind the action. Is it life giving? Is it a chore? Is it something done to nourish your physical body, or to nourish your spirit? The key word in your "rule" will be INTENT. As a spiritual practice, those activities that enliven your spirit, or your "walk with God" are the ones that will become your spiritual Rule of Life. It sounds easy...and it is...but it will take some deep soul searching. Remember...INTENT. Be intentional about your spiritual life...it WILL PAY OFF. For those of you in recovery of anykind, this is alot like your honest moral inventory with a twist. I am home in Vegas this weekend, my first since coming to Holy Hill. For those CLC family members, I will see you in church on Sunday. It will be good to be home with my tribe for refueling for a couple more weeks of school....Remember...INTENT!!!!!!

I'M BACK!!!1

2009-09-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow travelers. Sorry it has taken me so long to post. I know, It has been a week. I think I miss doing this more than you miss reading it. I had a very busy week. I really can't imagine that these profs really think it is humanly possible to do all the reading they assign. It makes my eyes bug out.

Today is Sunday. I went to church this morning, same one as last week...after an hour and half the pastor still had not started to preach. I was hungry, so alas...I came back to Berkeley...but I did go for all of you who are keeping track of my church attendance.

This afternoon, about 10 of us went to the famous Folsom Street Fair. Let's just say that it is very hard to "unsee" what you have seen. For those of you who know me well...you know it is not easy to shock me in any way. BUT....today, I was shocked, oddly entertained, disturbed and well...uneasy. I won't go into it any further than that.

Lot's of faces looking for love and fulfillment in ways that would blow most minds. There was strange sense of camaraderie among all the "fair goers." What kept coming back to me was...don't judge and "All of these folks have a mother somewhere."

But the main thing that flooded my mind on the subway train home was..."Jesus died for these people too!" How easy it is to categorize and label people because of the way they live out their life. I have been there in many ways. But in God's eyes we are all just in one big blow-up swimming pool full of kids, playing, exploring, laughing, crying and searching. I am ONE with all of the universe. These folks (i hate even categorizing them this much) are loved by God just as much, if not more, than I am.

So...I am learning...may I never STOP learning. May I remain in the quest to love all of God's children and to serve them the way HE would serve them.

One other thing...I have just become familiar with Shane Claiborne. You should google him and look for him on Youtube. What an amazing man with an incredible quest for community. I will expect reports from all of you on what you hear and see of him in the next couple of days. Could Shane's view of the world be where we should all be heading? Hmmmmm

Until next time...remember..."be careful little eyes what you see" especially knowing that those you see are loved with an everlasting love and are part of your God family.

Outsourcing our Discipleship...GOA!

2009-09-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was blessed to have attended the worship service at the First Congregational Church of Oakland yesterday. What a gift!!!!! After two weeks of classes it was just the Jesus fix I needed and I hope that God was pleased with the worship He/She received.

As I have said before, so much of what happens in seminary (so far anyway) is SO academic that the Gospel (as I know it gets lost). Let me clarify...The Gospel and the Great Commission are everywhere. People and groups are constantly doing the work of Jesus. The number of people actively involved in meeting needs and working for Social Justice is unbelievable. However, sometimes I just need to hear His name.

The music and worship time was anointed in a way that Jesus, was at the center. Tears projected out of my eyes as I remember the REAL REASON I am here. Pastor Lynice Pinkered is the pastor and what an anointed spirit she is. Her message was entitled...OUTSOURCING OUR DISCIPLESHIP. Pastor Pinkered is leaving for a three month sabbatical in October. Her thoughts....(I paraphrase)... "you people rely too much on me for your discipleship!" Her charge to the church was to notice how much they are not doing in their own spiritual life because they paying her to do it for them. WOW! How many people in all churches, especially Mainline Protestant churches, live their life in much the same way.

For me, the message was this... "You are not in seminary to just learn facts, theories, and theology...You are here to become a true discipleship. Get off your ass and read My word! Get off your ass and cultivate "our" relationship. I Love you, Greg and I want you to get the education, but never forget that it is always more important for you to know me. I will help you get through the facts. I will be there to help you sort out the theories. I will lead you in discovering "right" theology. BUT how will you hear ME when I talk? How will you recognize my leading? How will you be able to discern what I want you to teach others about me and my mission? How will you know that it is OUR mission? I need you to continue to know ME."

Okay..enough about me.

I challenge all of my readers today to, "Get off your ass." Cultivate Jesus in your life. You want to be ready when He calls. You want to be ready when He leads. You want to be able to hear His voice.

May you have a blessed day....For those of you I offended by saying, "Get off your ass" I am sorry...but sometimes the truth comes in a variety of ways...That phrase speaks to me of urgency and God's desire for my life.

Blessings and GOA!

Throw it down!!!

2009-09-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I was blessed to have been asked to sing at a small concert. I debated about whether or not to do it and decided to go for it. My mind told me to "make my mark" here at PSR in ways other than thru music...but God's leading said...Go for it..."lay it down." How right he/she was again.

I sang "Moses" one of my favorite pieces by Ken Medema. At the end of the number, God tells Moses to "throw down" his rod so that He (God) can use it. Isn't it ironic that sometimes the things that give you power (ability to make a mark) are also the things that can get in your way if you don't let Him/ Her have it? I hope that makes sense to you....it does to me. It is the inspiration that God gave me to get me thru my "not measuring up" week.

Today, I am headed off to San Mateo to a Creative Worship Workshop. My new friend, Jeri Handy is the Pastoral intern there and has been a great force of encouragement for me during my first weeks here at PSR. Thanks you God for Jeri and Marge.

For those of you that I have not spoken to in a while, know that I feel your prayers and concern. My mom is doing much better and is out of the ICU. If things go as planned, she should be home by Monday. Bless her heart....a week and a half in the hospital for a knee replacement. Continue to pray for her and my Daddy. She has a lot of catching up to do in her rehab, after being laid up with her heart situation.

Bye for now...So today...lay down everything that you have to God...the things that get in your way of being who God wants you to be like a job, a broken relationship, prejudice and bigotry...BUT....They can even be the talents that God has given you...He can use them for all sorts of wonderful.

Measuring up...?

2009-09-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

There is nothing quite as lonely than feeling like you do not measure up to your peers. Being an "older" student here at PSR, I sometimes feel like I simply do not measure up to the "kids". There are some really academically smart people here. Now, I do not consider myself "not smart" at all. But being around those who "get it" with one reading, and "get it" passionately is daunting to say the least. I spent almost four hours writing two summaries of articles that were a total of 4 pages long. Easy right? I read and re-read that text until I think I have a tiny grasp on its content. Fighting these feelings of inadequacy has been a big part of my week. Thank God I have tomorrow to re-group.

This is not a pity party in any sense of the word. However, I do see how people in "the real world" have problems with measuring up to what society thinks of them...what their families think of them and what their church thinks of them.

Even though I am being evaluated by some pretty incredible folks in academia, as well as the smart kids...I am realizing that I only have to ULTIMATELY, please my heavenly father. (no offense to any of my PSR buddies who don't identify with that word, father.) I am here to become a better GREG for ministry. He has gifted me is so many ways, now I am just learning to connect my head with my heart.

For all those out there who feel they just don't quite measure up...remember...We all perform in this life for an audience of ONE...and that ONE will give you the strength to realize that you do measure up...you are a blessed child of God...a child of the most Holy Being! Perform, Study, work, parent, lead, direct, write, paint, sing for HIM. What ever you do...do it for God's glory and he will provide! Ciao!

OTNT... baptism by fire with the holy CANONball...

2009-09-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

So today was my first day in the big OTNT course here at PSR. This right of passage is a survey of both the Hebrew Bible and New Testament...actually the name of the course is "Situating the Bible...Contexts ad Histories. WOW!!! DID THE THREE HOUR LECTURE COURSE PACK A WALLOP. Of course, I was the smart little third grader who can still name the books of the Bible in canonical order in ONE BREATH. But imagine my dismay when we were asked to turned to the book of Sirach. (that would be part of the apocrypha for all you non academic/non-Roman Catholic types. I mean, we did not name it in our list in 1969, especially since we learned the books to the tune of "Bringing in the Sheaves."

So today I read from the apocrypha...hmm...something new and something holy for many people. Not quite sure where this is heading...just wanted to let you know that we are not in VBS any longer.

Mom is still not doing very well...She is still in ICU. She seems to have a new problem with her heart. Please pray for her and my daddy. It is hard for this boy to be so far away! Blessing to all...Peace and love! More on the Consecrated Horns soon....

Ahhhh! Sunday

2009-09-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

I hope that this post finds you all rested from a great day and refilled from being in church. This morning I attended New Spirit Community Church here on the PSR campus. It was an interesting day in that the world famous writer, Malcolm Boyd and his partner Mark Thompson, participated in a interview style sermon time. Boyd's book, "Are you Running With Me Jesus," from 1965 is a wonderful book of thought, poems and other styles of writing having to do with social justice. He was a follower of MLK Jr. His passion for life and his desire to see racism cease in all of its forms is inspiring to say the least.

The service itself seemed a bit disjointed at times, but I did find it a little humorous that we sang not only, "If I Had a Hammer," but also..."Blowin in the Wind." The perfect songs for a Berkeley congregation.

The best part of the service for me was the singing of one of my all time favorite hymns....When in Our Music God is Glorified. I LOVE THE WORDS SO MUCH and the tune is incomparable.

The rest of the day was devoted to READING!!! Thank God I know how...kind of. I really missed being with my church family today, but am so at peace knowing the God is moving in big ways at CLC. My CLC family...."I love you." THank you for being such a huge part of this new life venture with your cards, comments and phone calls.

FYI...My mom was moved to ICU early this morning. She remains there through the night. Don't quite know what is up? Please pray for her and my daddy. I hate being the good son SO FAR AWAY.

Blessings to all!!! I promise, next week, I will get a little more profound in my writing....Just alot of issues clouding my brain this weekend.

Of Consecrated Horns and Double Axes

2009-09-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

First week of classes is now over. What week. However, I am sure that God had the short week in mind for me when classes did not begin until Tuesday, Sept. 8th. I have yet to have first meetings for three of my classes. I attended my exegesis course and my Visual Art and religion course. The former, is a writing class that is designed to set the stage for three years of papers and research. The latter is....hmmmm...what was it? Two hours of lecture on the Minoans and Myceneans the architecture and art. After that lecture, I can now identify the Consecrated horns and double axes in their recovered ruins and such. HMMMM...I am sure it will make sense someday, but today it eludes me.

Today, I picked up my car in Walnut Creek and drove "chase" back to Berkeley. Now, it is hit the books time.

Thank you for all the prayers for Jack and Ann Mom is doing well, up and walking just hours after her knee replacement. Daddy is sick and at home. Wish I could be there to take care of them both.

God is providing. I plead with you all to pray for Bruce and his family. Ed is continuing to not do well. Bruce, in his earthly strength, is trying to keep everyone up and positive, but it is a really tough time for him and his mom. God, give Ed an extra dose of grace today. Make his pain level decrease and his assurance of your presence increase. Give him more good moments during the week. Restore his mind so that he can marvel at the people that love him. All in all, comfort and sustain the entire Ewing clan during this very difficult time.

So, from the land of Consecrated horns and Double axes...peace!

Keys to the Kingdom?!?!...I just want my room keys.

2009-09-09T19:29:00.000-07:00

Short and sweet...this morning (8:00 am) I drove my car to Walnut Creek to check the oil light and such, get a tune up, oil changed...you know the drill. I walked all over Walnut Creek, find a place to study, read...drink espresso....shop...walk some more...SO

It is 3:00 PM and I find out that indeed my transmission is on the blink. They have to keep my car. FINE...still under warranty...just have to take the BART back to Berkeley. NO PROBLEM! Get on the Bart...and realize...all of my campus keys are on my car key ring...ARGH! It is now 6:00 pm, I am home...tired, cranky, sweaty...Then, I find out that my advisor does not want me to take a class that I had signed up for...so it is back to the catalogue.

I get into my room with the help of Hal, my "dorm dad."

Seriously, I am consumed with thought and prayer for my best friend Bruce and his family. His dad is really sick. Please pray for them. Also, my mom, ANN, the queen of hospitality in Texas, is having a knee replacement tomorrow morning (thursday). Please pray for her and my dad as they face the pain, the therapy and the general lethargy of being sick.

Sorry..no thoughts today...just insanity!!!!!!1

The last night before classes start

2009-09-07T20:14:00.000-07:00

Not a whole lot to write about today. I spent most of the day walking around Berkeley with friends touring all the thrift shops. I did not intend to purchase anything, but hey...it was 50% off at Goodwill...what is a boy to do?

I woke up this morning, panicked about my course schedule...I realized that I had scheduled myself for 9 hours of lecture classes on Mondays. That kind of freaked me out. Yeah...it left the rest of my week open for study and such, but 9 hours???!!! So, prayed about it...looked through the course catalog again...found a course that fulfills a requirement and works well into my schedule...Thank God!

Pray for me on Monday...I am so excited and elated that this day is here... but also scared to death. A new chapter...begins...today....Thank you God for the privilege of being able to be here....Thank you to all of you, many of whom are the reason I am here.

ACCESS HAS BEEN GRANTED!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

Labor Day Weekend....

2009-09-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

What a great Sunday. I started the day in Walnut Creek hearing my dear friend Ralph preach at St. Matthew's Lutheran Church. He, as always, did a splendid job. His delivery and voice quality is so easy to listen to. His message, about our task to overflow in our lives, was engaging. I still think he should have shot the marshmallows. (inside joke with Ralph and I). My perceptions of the message was that I need to make sure that my fountain pump is turned on. Living in Vegas, water that stands stagnant does one of two things...it evaporates or it becomes green, slimy and filmy. Every two days or so we pour a couple of cups of chorine in our fountain to get rid of the muckiness. Within minutes...when the pump is running, the water clears up...and then flows easily from one tier to the other. The other result is that water that stands stagnant evaporates quickly in the desert. Then, the pump can be ruined if it is on a timer, comes on, and their is no water. Things to think about...would love your feed back.

Last night, I went with two friends to the Mission Bay Community Church, PCUSA. The pastor is the moderator for the entire Presbyterian church in the US for the next two years. As it was Labor Day weekend, they had a guest preacher, who....GET THIS...lived in my dorm room for 5 years, finishing his DMin. How weird is that? Anyway, very intriguing message. He works directly with the labor forces and unions for the hospitality industry in San Francisco in Health care refrom issues...His sermon title was..."Pre-existing Conditions." His premise...our Christian conditions that pre-exist....GRACE...WE ARE MADE IN GOD's IMAGE....WE ARE CALLED TO TAKE CARE OF THE SICK. His text was Ezekiel 34:1-16.

My personal impressions...I think about the times that I am at a gated community. I punch in the code, the wrong code and get the message ACCESS DENIED....I try again with a different code....ACCESS DENIED. The third time, either their is a car behind me wanting in or the gate mechanism has locked out me trying another code. It is so frustrating...but not nearly as frustrating as those who need medical care and get DENIED. Or even those of us who have health care, PTL, and pay our premiums, submit a claim and get DENIED! REALLY?!

The passage in Ezekiel is a wonderful text...charging the shepherd to take care of the flock...So it seems that either the government is not doing its job or God's people are not doing theirs. Again...questions to chat about.

Have a great rest of your weekend. I will be writing a paper....but thanking God for the blessings that enable me to be in seminary. Many of those blessings are you!

FIRST REAL DAY TO ME...

2009-09-05T23:10:00.000-07:00

Today was an incredible day. The weather, unbelievable. To quote ANNIE..."I think I'm gonna like it here!!!!

Not alot to write about today. I spent the day with new friends...actually, I drove the "kids" to IKEA to buy room decorating stuff. It is always interesting to watch anyone in IKEA for the first time. Anyone who has been knows how overwhelming it can be. What a great outing it was.

I just finished the day talking with a jewish seminarian here at PSR. What a refreshing look at God. We discussed Passover and other Jewish festivals. She said that she thinks Jesus is really cool. Why not live by the message of man who was all about love.

Day by day I am seeing my presence here to be one that is so healthy for me. For one, it is a very pluralistic environment. I don't tend to be a huge pluralistic person as I see Jesus as the chief way to peace, abundance and eternity. But to see the hearts of those with different eyes and to see that they are living out the calling of Jesus better than I do is humbling to say the least...but it is also a reminder to be what I call myself...a true Jesus follower. Christian is becoming a more difficult term than ever. Yeah...I am a Jesus follower. May I be the Jesus follower that can bring change to my small little world here. May I, in the future, be the Jesus follower that can help bring the term CHRISTIAN, back to a place that is positive...a place where we can actually have a positive effect on God's world. A place where the forgiveness and peace of our Savior is seen in all I do and say.

Taking Woodstock...Different Eyes...Eternal Truths

2009-09-04T22:20:00.001-07:00

What better way to spend a Friday night in Berkeley than to see the wonderful new movie...TAKING WOODSTOCK. It is truly a must see film for the year. For those of you who don't remember, Woodstock was the first of its kind, three day rock festival event that featured such icons as Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and the Guess Who. It was also the second performance for Crosby, Stills and Nash.

Depending on your generation, your take on Woodstock and the "hippie" gerneration will vary greatly. For my folks it was those dirty hippies, in an orgy type commune, with drugs and sex and nudity and general degenerates. For the people who attended Woodstock it was a different experience altogether. Yeah, there were drugs, sex, nudity but there was also love, compassion, cooperative spirits, sharing, people taking care of each other, old ladies making thousands of peanut butter sandwiches to feed the crowds...so much more than can be written here.

I was eight at the time, so my memories are through the lens of my parents and their generation.

I think about the Bible and the many ways that it was written; the letters of Paul written to certain groups for certain reasons, the unbelievable stories of the Old Testament, Johns Revelation. Many people read it literally, word for word. Others... the whole collection as a myth with stories to live by. Still others, like myself, see it as a wonderful story that happens to be true, not in a word for word way but in the realities of its message.

So WOODSTOCK...JESUS...THE BIBLE... events and stories and people, all seen from different eyes. As I go into this semester, I look forward to the different eyes. Yeah...I more than likely will believe even stronger in the message ( I HOPE)...but what a joy to see it in other ways, with other truths, other interpretations...DIFFERENT EYES. Those of you who know me will know that I love the image of God laughing and giggling at us trying to figure Him out. He gets Joy in our journey, our folly and our study. I hope that my years on Holy Hill will bring Him much Joy!

Here is to my friend, Kevin Drury

2009-09-03T00:12:00.000-07:00

What a day. We began the day in a dismantling racism workshop. What an intense hour. I was reminded that Racism still exists even in the hollows of Holy Hill. Not a blatant racism, but one that is hidden in so many of us. It appears as one of those "tapes" that play in our minds from our past. I was reminded of being the first group of 5th graders to be bussed to the "other" side of town to attend school, in order to de-segregate the Oklahoma City School System. I was quickly pulled out of public school and placed in an Assembly of God private school where we learned, among other things, that Henry Kissinger was the anti-Christ. I did not make the trek across town with my neighborhood friends. My parents were doing the best that they knew how to. The oppression that they felt from the forced bussing was lived out in keeping me from it. I have never thought of myself as a racist person, in any way. Today, I realized that, like the song from Avenue Q..."Everyone's a little bit racist." Oh God, help me find a way to work through the tapes of my past and lead me to liberation, seeing all of God's children as the same.

The evening was filled with an outing to a local club to a drag king show...a first for me. Like I have said, this is a very "special" place. The outing was sponsored by the student association and was great fun...a bunch of seminarians enjoying the art of illusion in a new way for this "slightly on the angle" boy.

The evening ended with some tragic realizations. Many of you know that I used to be one of the owners of a great coffee shop in Las Vegas, called reJAVAnate Coffee Lounge. Everyday for a least a year, a lovely man by the name of Kevin Drury would come in and do computer work while enjoying a chai latte. Kevin was the Youth Minister at the Unitarian Universalist congregation in Las Vegas. He was extra-ordinary. He was the life blood of that church and he taught me alot about this other faith tradition. He was one of the influences in me coming to PSR. During our time together in Vegas, he was taking online courses at the Starr King Seminary here at the GTU. After a semester, he realized that he really needed to be a part of the on campus community of the GTU. Earlier this summer, I connected with Kevin to let him know of my plans to join him in Berkeley. (the Starr King seminary is right down the street.) I left the conversation with...I will see you in late August.

The car that I rode in to the drag king show was driven by a Starr King student who lives in my dorm. I simply asked about Kevin's whereabouts and how to get ahold of him and was told that he had passed away three weeks ago. I was stunned to tears. My tears intensified when Josh Groban came on the radio with his famous recording of "You Raise Me Up." Kevin died from complications due to HIV, and was surrounded by his UU family until the end. One of the PHD students, also in our car pool, asked me to walk her back to her apartment as she had something for me. She presented me with Kevin's Bible Cover. So...more tears. You have to know that my "happy pills" keep me from crying most of the time.

This man, who had such a passion for kids and ministry had, in his own way, affected my new life here at seminary, not only through his extra-ordinary life but in his untimely death. So here is to you Kevin...May your flaming Chalice burn brightly in your new life. May your time with God be one of answers to life long questions, and a true fulfillment of your calling as a MINISTER.

ARGH!!!! morning sun

2009-09-02T09:58:00.001-07:00

So, for those of you following this blog...know that the fog was not around this morning. Spiritually it was a God Wink...things do get better and evolve. Physically, the Sun came barreling in my top windows very early. Can you say...."WINDOW TREATMENTS." I have to find some room in my budget for some swags or something.

All in all though, the clear skies this morning did remind me of God's hand. Several, actually many years ago, I was a student of the COURSE IN MIRACLES. Very strange study and reading, but one of the ideas I gleaned from it was that..."after a crucifixion there is always three days before a resurrection. Well...it is Wednesday...The "third" day of my week. The fog lifted and new inspiration is flooding my soul!

So now I know that my little Gracie (mini doxie) is not the only small furry wonder that does victory laps. There are so many dogs here on campus. Right outside my window I hear them playing, running and playing ball! ALL OF THEM do a victory lap after they caught their ball, frisbee, bone etc.

Today, I am doing a victory lap. I got my registration done on line! (very challenging for this old guy). I am approaching this day with the knowledge that having someone be "Thrilled" at your calling in life is enough. One can be thrilled and not totally understand. One can be thrilled and not totally embrace. One can be thrilled and still question my life. The point is they are thrilled. I can hang on to that today and run a victory lap with my KONG. I can run with joy just like the Lab in the quad playing with the yorkie. I can run a victory lap knowing that God is smiling and cheering on this slightly "on the angle" boy.

THE END OF DAY TWO

2009-09-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

WOW! They just keep piling on the information. "sign in here"... "use this password here"..."make sure that you sign in there with that password." You get my drift. It is truly amazing how far technology has come in the past 25 years. But I am hanging tough and ploughing through!

Today I was struck by the compassion of people, know matter what faith tradition they hail from. From the UCC, to the DOC, to the RC, to the UU, to the MCC..to the UMC...the heart of the people is here is ONE. Many traditions, worshiping different ways, the knowledge of the Savior found and expressed in a plethora of ways....ONE CHURCH. I wish that the ELCA was an affiliate here, but alas, they are close at hand up on the hill at PLTS.

While I am it...all of these initials...ARHG! Slowly getting the hang of their identifications, but it almost seems like the identity lies in the letters. the SFTS, the CDSP, the PSR, the FSPT...not alot of mention of the JC yet. I am feeling a little in the minority. Most students are UCC (United Church of Christ)...They have a great idea of God and the ministry of Justice and Compassion. They truly live out the calling of Jesus, but hardly ever say His name. I am driven to find a place where I can get my "Jesus on" and find it soon.

One thing that I simply love about California. You do not have to dodge traffic while walking. The minute you step into the street they STOP. I know, it is a law in the state, but I am so taken a'back by the immediacy of their response. Much like the immediacy that I think God is calling us all into when it comes to meeting needs. That gap that Erwin McManus talks about, from the time we see a need to actually taking action, has become ever so apparent to me. So the next time you see someone "step into the street"...reach out to meet their need. God has not made it a law, but I can't help but think that His heart smiles when he see us in action.

Did I tell you all that the bathrooms and the showers are COED!!!! Not quite used to that yet...everybody else seems to be.....

2009-08-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

Well, day one is coming to a close. It is interesting to see that dysfunction runs the gamut when it comes to educational institutions. Spent the entire day in meetings about procedure. I learned a great deal but found my brain not quite ready for the onslaught of info all at once. In reality, the day was great!!! I met many new friends who are in the same boat...right along with me. Many of us are "different" but all proclaim our desire and calling to be in this very special place.

The day was not without its perils, however. It seems when things are going so well, that the devil (hope you believe in his powers because he is real) pokes his little pitch fork into your gut to bring you to a reality that you thought you had left behind. Let's just say that the reality of who and what I am is not quite as rosy in some eyes even to this day. All the more reason for me to lean on God's promises to me..."I will never leave you... forsake you," "He who began a good work in you will complete it," "Never call 'unclean' what I have made clean." Thank you God for these promises.

I met a fellow former Southern Baptist today. She is more relieved to be here, where I feel more elation. (except for the incident later this afternoon) Her father cried when she left because "women have no place in church leadership." Thank God we are past that...but many still earnestly grapple with my "place at the table." I know I am loved and cherished by so many.

Right now, I go back to my earlier post and remember that although the clouds might roll in over the Berkeley Hills during the night...The mountain is still there. God is still here, with me, loving me, affirming me and lets me know that I am OK! So from the chilly hills of Berkeley...Nite Nite.

2009-08-31T10:02:00.000-07:00

One more thing for this morning! As I look out my window towards the Berkeley Hills, the clouds are covering the top. Hmmm....the hills were there yesterday.

So much like the journey that I am embarking on. This morning, there are many unknowns. But I know the top of the hill exists. The clouds will burn away to reveal the beauty of the top of the hills. I know, it is a bit "out there" but hey, that is how my mind is working. At least it is working.

The First Day...orientation

2009-08-31T09:04:00.000-07:00

So...did not sleep particularly well, as I had a new alarm clock that wanted to go off every few hours or so. One thing that I should have learned already is to read the directions before trying to use a new appliance.

This is my first official day at Pacific School of Religion, in Berkeley, California. Many would ask, what is this Southern Baptist raised, Lutheran by choice, man with the dream job in Las Vegas, would go back to school at age 47. I actually ask myself the same question every day? Actually, several times a day to be honest.

The answer is both simple and complex. The simple part is there is that yearning deep inside to truly be the man of God that He wants me to be, and to have the skills to lead his people in wonderful new directions. The complex part is that for the first time, I am in an environment where I do not have to prove my right or calling to be here.

For those of you who do not know me, I am a gay man in a VERY committed relationship, called to the pastoral ministry. God led me to this beautiful place, affectionately known by many as HOLY HILL. PSR is a very special place in that its multi-denominational set-up, allows for diversity of thought and heart, while seeing the wonderful things we have in common. And yes...for all of my conservative, fundamentalist friends...they welcome, and affirm who I am as a gay man who is "called."

So that is about it for day one...I am headed off to learn the ins and outs of this special place, and probably write a few checks. God's peace be with you all this beautiful gift of a morning.

Greg